In Victory or in Defeat: Humility Always

On September 27, two Brazilian icons — Acelino “Popó” Freitas and Wanderlei Silva — faced off in a boxing match that ended in a brawl between the teams . I’m not here to judge, but to highlight a lesson: when humility gives way to ego, everyone loses .

This post is a shorter version of one I shared in The BJJ Mental Coach Masters Community.

Sport teaches. And Jiu-Jitsu teaches humility from day one . One day you shine in training or competition ; the next, you leave frustrated, even in tears . That’s the “humble pill.” Tough to swallow , but full of lessons .

Recently, I revisited Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection . She reminds us that authenticity is a daily practice that demands courage , compassion , and connection . Without humility, it’s hard to show up as your best self — not just as an athlete, but as a human being .

As I shared in a recent post, I haven’t always lived this way. As a purple belt , I once refused to step on the podium after losing a final . I’ve argued with opponents and even told a crowd to stay quiet after a win . Looking back, those were moments of immaturity and ego.

I like to think of emotional maturity as a spectrum, from 0 to 100 . No one hits 100 — unless maybe a monk. But each season of life should move us further along . Ask yourself: where were you at 18? And where are you now?

Humility is what helps you grow on that spectrum . It’s what allows you to accept losses , practice self-compassion instead of self-criticism , and extend compassion to your opponents — who, just like you, carry their dreams and sacrifices .

The Popó vs. Wanderlei episode is a reminder: ego can erupt at any level . But martial arts call us higher — to see wins and losses as temporary and to embrace humility as the golden thread that keeps you authentic, on and off the mats.

In victory or in defeat: humility always

Na Vitória ou na Derrota: Humildade Sempre

No dia 27 de setembro, dois ídolos brasileiros — Acelino “Popó” Freitas e Wanderlei Silva — fizeram uma luta de boxe que terminou em pancadaria entre as equipes . Não estou aqui para julgar, mas para destacar uma lição: quando a humildade dá lugar ao ego, todos perdem .

Esse post é uma versão reduzida para o Instagram de um post que fiz na comunidade Masters The BJJ Mental Coach.

O esporte ensina, e o Jiu-Jitsu ensina humildade desde o primeiro dia . Um dia você brilha no treino ou no campeonato ; no outro, sai frustrado, até em lágrimas . Esse é o “comprimido da humildade”. Difícil de engolir , mas cheio de aprendizado .

Recentemente, revisitei o livro A Arte da Imperfeição, da Brené Brown . Ela lembra que autenticidade é prática diária que exige coragem , compaixão e conexão . Sem humildade, fica difícil ser a sua melhor versão não necessariamente como atleta, mas como ser humano.

Como mencionei em um post recente, Nem sempre vivi dessa forma. Como faixa roxa , recusei subir no pódio após perder uma final , já discuti com adversários e até mandei torcida ficar quieta depois de vencer . Hoje vejo: eram momentos de imaturidade e ego.

Gosto de pensar em maturidade emocional como um espectro de 0 a 100 . Ninguém chega ao 100, mas a cada fase da vida podemos evoluir . Pergunte a si mesmo: em que nível você estava aos 18? E agora?

Humildade é o que nos faz crescer nesse espectro . É o que permite aceitar derrotas , praticar autocompaixão em vez de crítica e ter compaixão pelo oponente — que, assim como você, também tem sonhos e sacrifícios .

O episódio com Popó e Wanderlei mostra que o ego pode aparecer em qualquer nível . Mas as artes marciais nos lembram que vitórias e derrotas são passageiras . A humildade é o fio condutor que mantém você autêntico, dentro e fora dos tatames.

Na vitória ou na derrota: humildade sempre . #thebjjmentalcoach #ibjjf #authenticity #jiujitsumindset #bjjmindset #bjjlife

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Do you watch or study Jiu-Jitsu?

Since I’m a Jiu-Jitsu nerd, I prefer to study more than just watch. I love breaking down matches and sharing lessons — whether in classes at @gdjiujitsuacademy or at seminars like yesterday @riversbjj in Lawrence, Kansas.

In this short clip, I break down one of my matches from the 2025 @ibjjf Pan Championship and highlight the importance of awareness when the referee says “parou!” to reset a position.

If you want the full breakdown, it’s already available inside The BJJ Mental Coach Masters Community — a space created for Masters competitors to sharpen their mindset, access online courses, join live classes, and get exclusive content designed to help you perform as your most authentic self on and off the mats.

https://www.thebjjmentalcoach.com/the-bjj-mental-coach-community

• My new book, Inner Discovery for Outer Success – Available in print, e-book, and audiobook, with 10 rules to integrate authenticity and performance in Jiu-Jitsu and beyond. https://geni.us/thebjjmentalcoach

• Instagram Broadcast Channel – Inner Discovery for Outer Success with daily positive messages on personal development and stoicism. https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbZ7d2xnHM0Butzv/

• The BJJ Mental Coach Masters Community – Online courses, monthly classes with me, exclusive interviews, and a supportive group of like-minded practitioners. https://www.thebjjmentalcoach.com/the-bjj-mental-coach-community

#thebjjmentalcoach #ibjjf #bjjmentalcoach #jiujitsumindset #authenticity #bjjmindset #bjjlife

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“That wasn’t me!” Have you ever left a competition saying this?

I, along with thousands of others, have been there. A mental block stopped you from being your most authentic self at the most crucial moment.

In my new book, “Inner Discovery for Outer Success – 10 Rules to Integrate Authenticity and Performance in Jiu-Jitsu and Beyond”, which I consider a true manual for the Jiu-Jitsu competitor, you’ll learn how to handle internal battles more effectively so you can perform at your best.

This will be my second book in English, and it will be available in black and white, color, e-book, and audiobook versions!

Stay tuned! Save this message and send it to someone who could benefit from this book.

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Thinking about competing?

Before you sign up for that tournament…
listen to this reflection.

It might be exactly what you need to hear today and it could change the way you see the process.

Watch until the end.
If it resonates:
Save it
Share it with someone who needs it
And follow the page for more tips on how to armor your mind. #thebjjmentalcoach #bjjmotivation #bjjinspiration #bjjcompetition #bjjmindset

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Today we’ve got a question from Chris who’s been training BJJ for a few years now.

He says that he has a “lazy Jiu-jitsu problem.”

When he’s fighting for takedowns, getting his guard passed, and even searching for submissions, he tends to give up before he meets too much resistance.

Essentially, he just rolls over and dies when things get tough.

He wants to be more aggressive and is wondering if I had any tips on how to develop that aggression.

In this video I’ll explain how Chris doesn’t have a lazy Jiu-Jitsu problem, he’s not lazy. He’s training, exhausted, etc. However, what’s going on (probably) is that Chris, like many people for whatever reason, has not been taught to fight through positions.

This is something that has to be trained with your coach, or something you can train yourself.

I’ll give a few examples to help with the problem, even comparing a few values from sports Wrestling that can help you with Chris’ Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu problem.

Hopefully you found this video helpful, especially if you are struggling with a similar problem to Chris.

Thanks for watching.

– Chewy
—————–
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If you’d ever like to train with the team and I. Check out my gym Derby City MMA in Louisville,KY.

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What’s up guys! In this TMG Clips Video, we go over how to get your hook when the opponent enters the turtle position. The full video will be in the link down below, enjoy!!

Full Video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG5B0Jaux7M

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The NextLevelGuy Podcast with Coach Brian Peterson has been released!! Check it out!

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What’s up guys! In this TMG Clips Video, we go over how to use the pinch headlock position to get to the back from your guard. The full video will be in the link down below, enjoy!!

Full Video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INsiZGyz6Kk

PLEASE Click the links below to SUPPORT the TeachMeGrappling Channel!!!

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Your contribution is much appreciated and will help me continue to bring you content!

www.NextLevelGuy.com

The NextLevelGuy Podcast with Coach Brian Peterson has been released!! Check it out!

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What’s up guys! In this TMG Clips Video, we go over how to use the pinch headlock with your butterfly hooks to create a sweep. The full video will be in the link down below, enjoy!!

Full Video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUYZlQVEGAk

PLEASE Click the links below to SUPPORT the TeachMeGrappling Channel!!!

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The NextLevelGuy Podcast with Coach Brian Peterson has been released!! Check it out!

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This video I discuss the importance of developing end point positions first. Often we try ti memorize open guard positions, and while this can be useful its critical to deeply understand the end positions first because they are the easiest to calculate. I reccomend people new to jiu jitsu should start with submissions first, then positional controls, then open guard positions.

Check out my website for more content:
https://www.jonthomasbjj.com/collections

Vital Kimonos:
https://www.vitalkimonos.com/

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In BJJ everyone wants to be more offensive and hit more submissions. It’s fun! In Brazilian Jiu-jitsu nothing feels quite as good as a well-timed submission. And so today’s question comes from a White Belt who said he’s defense is good but wants to turn up the offense now.

So in this video I’ll share 2 things. #1 I’ll share something that will destroy your ability to be offensive on the mats against similarly skilled opponents. #2 is a simple idea to eliminate this problem and how to become laser focused on your offensive techniques and submissions.

Now, I won’t lie to you. The idea is super simple. But it’s effective. It’s something I still do to this day. And when I think of all my best students and friends in grappling, they do the same thing.

So anyways. . . Hope the video gives you some useful ideas to assist you with your training.
-Chewy
—————–
Free Ebook: http://www.chewjitsu.net/focused-jiu-jitsu-13-page-ebook/

Video Courses and Products: http://www.chewjitsu.net/products

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http://www.Facebook.com/Chewjitsu

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Intro/Outtro Music : https://bknapp.bandcamp.com

If you’d ever like to train with the team and I. Check out my gym Derby City MMA in Louisville,KY.

Please use the code “JITSEASY10” for all your DVD & Digital Download orders at Digitsu bit.ly/2S9kMg4 to get 10% off (and help my channel out)! Thanks for the support
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