Tips for White Belt Girlfriend Learning BJJ from Blue Belt Boyfriend

Got a question about training with your significant other from Sonja.

Check it out.
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Dear Chewy,
Could I ask you a question regarding training at home?

Since the quarantine has started, we have swapped our couch and living room table for mats and can count ourselves as some of the lucky ones who are still able to train. My boyfriend is a 2 stripe blue belt and I am very fortunate to have him as my personal teacher here at home (I’m a white belt).

Do you have any tips about teaching your significant other and rolling at home?
Sonja
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Thanks for the question.
Training with your significant other can be a tricky thing but the tips below should help.

#1 Create Boundaries For The Class
The role of a coach and student traditionally have a certain boundary set. In this case since that boundary is not there you just kind of have it in your head that while he is teaching you, he is not your significant other.

#2 Be Patient
This is important for any coach whether you’re helping a new student you’ve never met or your significant other. But I stress patience in this situation because besides the fact that you’re locked up with someone way more than usual because of the quarantine. You might be a little less patient with your significant others.

#3 Don’t Complain
This one is hard because we feel so comfortable and open with our partners that we typically lack a filter. But it goes back to having boundaries for a bit.

In both situations give guidance, ask questions and treat each other as you would with a student or teacher who was not your partner.

#4 Focus On What They’re Doing Right
I recently taught Jess some boxing techniques. She made some mistakes for sure but overall she did great and she had a good experience because I focused on the things she did right.

This is a basic teaching rule. Praise feels good, criticism feels bad. In the beginning to get the ball rolling focus on praising what is done right rather than focus on what’s wrong. You can always fine tune stuff later.

#5 Follow Instructional Videos
One couple that follows me had some success by buying my Half Guard Sweeper series and then breaking down the moves together. This allowed them to essentially be students together learning from me.

The husband sent me a message and said this was easier than him trying to teach his lady directly.

Hopefully that list helps you. If you need instructional material check out my Youtube page or https://www.chewjitsu.net/products/.

Talk to you tomorrow.

-Chewy
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